When I Was Your Age

I wrote this in school too. On February 2011.. i think....

We had to pretend that we were 20 years older (so that's 35). and we came back to the school. We had to write about how life was like back then. (a speech)

WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE

It has been 20 years since I last came here. Im surprised; very surprised indeed that this hell hole had survived for more than an year. I personally had believed that it wont last 2 years. (so true)

Any ways, in my class, there were gossipers, dirty minds (taking the wrong meaning for everything you say or do) , students who would bang the wall every time something exciting happens to them, there was a boy called Barbie and of finally, there was a human who breaths a lot ( in English class he refers to him as either Human or Crash test dummy :l ). I had a dirty corrupted mind. It's really fun to be dirty minded. You learn to take many different meanings for what people say or does. It never gets boring.

One of your teachers Mr.Emrah was my math teacher as well. Today i was very surprised when i talked to him.... I found out that he has 4 wife's and 40 children. (10 for each). Math was always boring. Though Dhivehi (mother tongue of Maldives) was a lot worse (hard..) Anyways we'll talk about math for now. I was very bored and always wanted to sleep. So I kept acting as if i was okay. This is what I did and what I believed in while i was your age. Now i realize ho important it is to be able to know how to do....... 1+1=3 

Talking about lectures given by teachers, about ones behavior and stuff; who comes in front of you and is like bla bla bla bla bla, the students don't care, they start talking again. Then again, he starts banging the table hard and starts bla bla'ing again. Imagine he's bla'ing about respect and you didn't bother at all, 15 years later; you're fired from your job due to disrespect. I'm not saying that I was fired , except that one time 5 years ago.......Anyways..that's what you get for not paying attention. 

Make the most of the time you have. Who knows what'll happen tomorrow. If something does happen, destroying stuff, tearing of your cloths and banging on the table (or walls) won't solve it.Use this time to get back on the right path....

 (every thing here is true except things that happen 20 years ago......what had happens in the *past* are true. Things such as 10 wife's are a lie. As i'm not 35  yet and wont be until 20 years. The acting part is also a lie :) )

Vote for me .. or else i'll ......

I wrote this for a school essay 

(The name of my party is RIP. which stands for; 

Rijwan's Ideal planet)

There was once a man who wanted to rule the world. He tried once, but failed. He tried again and failed again. He trained again and again, but would fail and fail again. His name was Mr.Rabbiit. His, only mistake was, he mistook presidency with pregnancy. This is a common mistake by many politicians. 

What is Maldivian power? What is the essence of this new power that people in most countries still would not, or cannot, understand? All that’s blocking me from getting this power is you! So, I would like for you to move out of the way and give me a vote.

Every politician has a motto. Mine is as follows …….

I love you. You love me. We are a happy family.

As long as you vote for me….so that I have no reason to kill you

 Why should you give me a vote? For some of you, the reason is that if you don’t, you’ll end up dead and for the rest, it’s because you believe in me and actually want our country to prosper.

Every position makes promises. So shall I. Though, I can’t take any responsibility for them. I would not say that I will. Rather, I would use … I shall, may or try to.

I can’t promise you the world. Though a PC (personal carrot) would be fine. Would it not? I will ban part-time terrorism. Dealing with full time terrorism is Obama’s job, not mine.

When I finally do become president, I will forbid Dhivehi from becoming a must pass subject. As it terrorizes kids all around the world. I will stop some methods of child harassment. Such as schools and exams.

I promise everyone more working hours and lesser pays. I will increase all taxes. You all must work for the government 120.25hrs a week and you must not ask for any salary, no matter how ‘hard’ the work is.

I swear, not to make any promises that can't be accomplished.

I promise to never break a promise that's already broken.

I promise you that I will contact aliens and bring them under y control.

You have my word that I will take over the Turkish, the Russians and the Antarcticans. (not to mention; the rest of the world :') 

I promise to give every child  toys to play with >:)

I shall hammer  anyone who opposes me with a mallet and mutilate their corpses.

I shall explain my vows in detain, in the following poem.

Give me a vote,

Then I'll give you a coat,

And a big fat goat,

If not; a boat,

Trust me, it’ll float.

I promise you all,

A new school hall,

Which, comes with a mall,

So, just give me a call.

Wait! That’s not all.

I promise you no school,

Well, isn’t that cool,

You can go to the pool,

Or ride a mule.

I promise you parrots,

And an year supply of carrots,

Or would you like a ferret,

And an old garret.

I promise you a gun,

As round as the sun,

No bigger than a bun,

Aint that fun.

To show our power,

I will build a tower,

And make for it a cove,

Right after I take a shower.

I promise you an old mummy,

Or a crash test dummy,

Which is very gummy,

Though very crummy.

I promise you money,

That looks funny

And a pot of honey,

With a huge bunny,

I promise you my wife,

She's full of life,

And carries a knife,

But she’s very strife.

I promise you the sun,

If not; my son,

He weighs a ton,

Just put him in a bun,

Eating him would be fun.

If you want to ski,

Or have a cup of tea,

Just Vote for me,

And I’ll let you be.

But if you don’t,

You will be drilled,

Then taken up the mountain to be grilled,

And then be killed.

For, my men are skilled,

And well built.