Vote for me .. or else i'll ......

I wrote this for a school essay 

(The name of my party is RIP. which stands for; 

Rijwan's Ideal planet)

There was once a man who wanted to rule the world. He tried once, but failed. He tried again and failed again. He trained again and again, but would fail and fail again. His name was Mr.Rabbiit. His, only mistake was, he mistook presidency with pregnancy. This is a common mistake by many politicians. 

What is Maldivian power? What is the essence of this new power that people in most countries still would not, or cannot, understand? All that’s blocking me from getting this power is you! So, I would like for you to move out of the way and give me a vote.

Every politician has a motto. Mine is as follows …….

I love you. You love me. We are a happy family.

As long as you vote for me….so that I have no reason to kill you

 Why should you give me a vote? For some of you, the reason is that if you don’t, you’ll end up dead and for the rest, it’s because you believe in me and actually want our country to prosper.

Every position makes promises. So shall I. Though, I can’t take any responsibility for them. I would not say that I will. Rather, I would use … I shall, may or try to.

I can’t promise you the world. Though a PC (personal carrot) would be fine. Would it not? I will ban part-time terrorism. Dealing with full time terrorism is Obama’s job, not mine.

When I finally do become president, I will forbid Dhivehi from becoming a must pass subject. As it terrorizes kids all around the world. I will stop some methods of child harassment. Such as schools and exams.

I promise everyone more working hours and lesser pays. I will increase all taxes. You all must work for the government 120.25hrs a week and you must not ask for any salary, no matter how ‘hard’ the work is.

I swear, not to make any promises that can't be accomplished.

I promise to never break a promise that's already broken.

I promise you that I will contact aliens and bring them under y control.

You have my word that I will take over the Turkish, the Russians and the Antarcticans. (not to mention; the rest of the world :') 

I promise to give every child  toys to play with >:)

I shall hammer  anyone who opposes me with a mallet and mutilate their corpses.

I shall explain my vows in detain, in the following poem.

Give me a vote,

Then I'll give you a coat,

And a big fat goat,

If not; a boat,

Trust me, it’ll float.

I promise you all,

A new school hall,

Which, comes with a mall,

So, just give me a call.

Wait! That’s not all.

I promise you no school,

Well, isn’t that cool,

You can go to the pool,

Or ride a mule.

I promise you parrots,

And an year supply of carrots,

Or would you like a ferret,

And an old garret.

I promise you a gun,

As round as the sun,

No bigger than a bun,

Aint that fun.

To show our power,

I will build a tower,

And make for it a cove,

Right after I take a shower.

I promise you an old mummy,

Or a crash test dummy,

Which is very gummy,

Though very crummy.

I promise you money,

That looks funny

And a pot of honey,

With a huge bunny,

I promise you my wife,

She's full of life,

And carries a knife,

But she’s very strife.

I promise you the sun,

If not; my son,

He weighs a ton,

Just put him in a bun,

Eating him would be fun.

If you want to ski,

Or have a cup of tea,

Just Vote for me,

And I’ll let you be.

But if you don’t,

You will be drilled,

Then taken up the mountain to be grilled,

And then be killed.

For, my men are skilled,

And well built.